If you are a person of
color, you probably don't need to read this. You probably don't need to hear
one more white girl talking about how upset she is by the South Carolina massacre
when she is much closer to its cause than to its effects. And, quite honestly,
if you're a white person, there are posts you need to read more than this one.
Posts like the ones I've listed below by people of color responding and
reporting with all their rage and grief and exhaustion. Their words strike
closer to the heart of this terrible event than mine ever could. I have written
what I have because I had to—for myself, and to tell anyone who wants to know
where I stand, and where white people like me need to go.
So, if you haven't read any
of these articles, read them, and then if you want to, come back and read my
words. Here they are:
I thought the first post on this blog would be about fantasy writing,
social justice in general, and me, as a writer and a person. And then a white
man walked into a historic black church and killed nine black people. And I
realized that if my blog was going to launch anytime in the next month, the
first post had to be about this.
I have wept a great many tears over this, partly from grief, partly from
shame, and partly from the knowledge that my tears are far, far from being
enough. This massacre is one more symptom of the racism and violence endemic in
our culture, and I am acutely aware that I have not done enough to combat it.
And by my inaction, I have contributed to this culture, the inevitable
consequence of which is violence and death. I, and every white person in this
country, bear a collective responsibility for what happened in South Carolina,
and in Ferguson, and in New York, and in Baltimore, and what happens every day
to people of color all across our country for no reason other than the fact
that this country as a whole values white lives over black and brown lives.
This is nothing more or less than true, and I need to do something about
it.
I write this, knowing that it will seem weak and trite. I have no action
plan, not even many concrete next steps. And I know that at this time, this is
not and cannot be the soul preoccupation of my life. But I also know that
everyone could be doing something, or doing something better, and it is that
which I promise in this post: I will do better. I will call out racism when I
see it. I will look for racism when I cannot see it clearly. I will own up to
my privilege and will identify and inhabit spaces that reject that privilege. I
will donate my money and, I hope, my time to organizations that promote justice
for people of color. And of course, I will write, but I will privilege the
writings of people of color above my own.
I will also make mistakes. I will speak when I should have been silent,
and I will be silent and inactive when I should have spoken and done. I will
fail and be reproached for it. And then I will take that criticism to heart and
try again.
This is my promise, and I want everyone, people of color and white
people alike, to hold me to that promise. I want white people to join me in
this promise. So many of us have been failing the black and brown people who
live among and beside us, again and again, upholding a culture that murders
them. No more.
If you are reading this, and have a suggestion for something that I, as
a legally blind student with limited time, can do, please let me know. I want
to keep my promise and have it mean something.
